The “Four C’s” of Communication
It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
-John Andrew Holmes
There is no more important skill than communication. Not sold on that? Let me put it this way. Human nature is selfish. We all have an innate desire to look out for #1, and that’s a biological fact that allows us to survive. However, living in society with others, the tendency for self-preservation can quickly turn into a liability, as each of us pursue our desires in different directions and crash into one another like a global game of bumper cars. As a result, if we don’t learn to cooperate with others through communication, we won’t get very far. As Zig Ziglar says, “You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want.” Effective communicators are able to create teamwork so that everyone wins, simultaneously juggling the desires and efforts of others with their own.
Communication was the focus of this week’s THRIVE class, and students received an unforgettable object lesson as they were given the task of teaching each other to juggle! Nobody graduated to flaming chainsaws, but students did make remarkable progress, and as they learned to coach one another in more effective ways, their juggling improved dramatically!
Today I’d like to give you four “C’s” that, if employed, can dramatically increase your results in interpersonal communication:
Care-abouts- Find out what their top “care-abouts” are (dreams, goals, etc) and how you can help them get what they want. This can drastically increase your employee and customer satisfaction by providing you with vital information on how to motivate them, satisfy their wants, and earn their loyalty.
Clarity- It’s been said that “unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments.” A large part of the stress, unnecessary conflict, and struggle of relationships can be alleviated by taking one simple step: Make sure that people know what you expect from them, and that you know what they expect from you. This is worth doing as many times as it takes until everyone has crystal clarity.
Communicate the “why”- Providing the reasons for the instructions you are giving is a way of honoring others’ ability to think for themselves. It includes them, motivates them, and grasping the overarching principles that guide specific actions will help them to perform better and make more informed choices in the future.
Conflict- Most people avoid conflict because it’s unpleasant and stressful. However, conflict is an absolutely essential part of maintaining functional relationships. Unresolved conflict builds tension and bitterness that can make relationships unbearable, and does much more damage in the long run. Conflict is much like a thunderstorm in humid weather. When the air fills with water, it becomes oppressive and uncomfortable, and generally feels miserable to be in it. However, after it finally rains, the air clears and it becomes pleasant again. Conflict operates on the same principle by “clearing the air” between people.
We go over these crucial principles in much more depth in our live class, as well as providing experiential learning exercises to help students apply them in everyday life. We’re creating a roster for our next class, so if this has been useful to you, please consider attending the next THRIVE class and give us a call at (828)407-7139 or email us at jeff@360business.com.
